BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS AND UNDERSTANDING CULTURE BEFORE PLANNING YOUR MISSION GOALS
– By MOM Founder, Denny Freed
Impacting other’s lives for good requires personal credibility, something earned by giving of yourself in love, honesty, empathy and respect for the values embraced by those you hope to serve. Ones motive must be to serve others not to achieve personal life goals or notching up another bucket list experience.
Building relationships with those you wish to serve requires foreknowledge i.e.understanding their values, belief systems, needs, dreams and aspirations…their culture. What may appear to us as illogical, ignorant and irrational, may be foundations of their culture.
We must defy the desire to judge and make every effort to be selfless, trusting God’s guidance in taking the steps to garner their confidence in our motives, which takes much time, patience and a full commitment to understanding the needs of those you serve (as they define them). No relationship building can begin without initially leaving your personal motivations behind.
To use the overused phrase, “you need to understand what it means to be in their shoes”. When you give and thanks are not received or if thanks are received accompanied by requests for more, rather than be disappointed be mindful of how their life experiences crafted who they are.
The consequence of not understanding and embracing this reality will lead to “Compassion Fatigue”. You go in with a pure loving heart and find disappointment happens, regularly. The culture in which they are raised defines their response.
In sum, learn all you can about the culture of the group you have chosen to serve. Do your homework, research, talk to others who have been there and keep reminding yourself when disappointed, that you come from a different world of values, priorities, family dynamics etc. They need you desperately!